Obituaries

Lorraine Sanberg
B: 1922-03-27
D: 2017-03-25
View Details
Sanberg, Lorraine
Sofia Sanchez
B: 1943-04-22
D: 2017-03-25
View Details
Sanchez, Sofia
Meredith Shay-Bourles
B: 1975-04-27
D: 2017-03-24
View Details
Shay-Bourles, Meredith
Susan Revenko
B: 1952-03-08
D: 2017-03-24
View Details
Revenko, Susan
Mohammed Keyhantaj
B: 1969-09-22
D: 2017-03-24
View Details
Keyhantaj, Mohammed
Elizabeth Johnson
B: 1935-04-10
D: 2017-03-23
View Details
Johnson, Elizabeth
Pamela Peacock
B: 1957-04-02
D: 2017-03-21
View Details
Peacock, Pamela
Rodolfo Jacuzzi
B: 1926-03-06
D: 2017-03-19
View Details
Jacuzzi, Rodolfo
Willie Sands
B: 1919-02-09
D: 2017-03-18
View Details
Sands, Willie
Lillian Brogan
B: 1922-11-11
D: 2017-03-17
View Details
Brogan, Lillian
Lillian Brogan
B: 1922-11-11
D: 2017-03-17
View Details
Brogan, Lillian
Juan Gonzales
B: 1936-10-07
D: 2017-03-15
View Details
Gonzales, Juan
Mary Borack
B: 1924-03-30
D: 2017-03-13
View Details
Borack, Mary
Norma Mygrant
B: 1930-02-15
D: 2017-03-12
View Details
Mygrant, Norma
Willie Jackson
B: 1918-07-13
D: 2017-03-12
View Details
Jackson, Willie
Mary Cram
B: 1944-10-29
D: 2017-03-12
View Details
Cram, Mary
Raymond Stamps
B: 1924-09-23
D: 2017-03-11
View Details
Stamps, Raymond
Bertha Nye
B: 1920-05-30
D: 2017-03-10
View Details
Nye, Bertha
Juanita Foll
B: 1923-07-24
D: 2017-03-08
View Details
Foll, Juanita
Manhinbanou Sholeh
B: 1930-10-01
D: 2017-03-07
View Details
Sholeh, Manhinbanou
Cathy Chiao Chiao Chou
B: 1964-09-16
D: 2017-03-05
View Details
Chou, Cathy Chiao Chiao

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
2099 Reliez Valley Road
Lafayette, CA 94549
Phone: (925) 935-3311
Fax: (925) 935-1221

Dealing with Death

In today's society, we tend to ignore death. We avoid discussing it, thinking about it, and planning for it. While we all know that death is inevitable, we are unwilling to think it will ever happen to us.

"Death can be terrifying." Dr. Todd Kashdan opened his article, "Confronting Death with an Open, Mindful Attitude", with those four painfully-honest words. He goes on to explain why death is such a scary thing for most of us. "Recognizing that death is inescapable and unpredictable makes us incredibly vulnerable. This disrupts our instinct to remain a living, breathing organism."

Our fear of dying has kept us alive (as individuals and communities) for centuries. It's natural. Yet, the fear of dying does not serve our personal need for safety and if we are to live our lives, we need to release the fear altogether. Dr. Kashdan argues that a mindful approach to living may be what's needed.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness has been defined as, "The state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience."

Awakening to the inevitability of your own death is liberating. You are no longer forced to manage the fear; you are able to include death into your life experience.

Preparing for Your Death

Death is a natural part of life. When you live with intention, which involves looking toward death and preparing for it, you crush its power to keep you from living fully. The following task list will, when done mindfully, help you to not only confront your own death but to take control of it. While you'll never actually know how your life will end until the time of your death, your preparations will help you become comfortable with it.

  • Write a will, notarize it, and provide a copy to your executor as well as any other individuals who are important in the settlement of your estate.
  • Designate a Power of Attorney and Living Will, two essential documents if you are ever unable to care for your financial, medical, or legal needs due to an accident or illness.
  • Make a detailed plan of your funeral or memorial service, which will help your survivors acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments.
  • Organize all financial papers including insurance policies, bills, mortgage papers, vehicle titles, and loan documents. It may be useful to consider adding a trusted family member to your bank accounts.
  • Secure your digital life for your survivors. Make sure to list all account passwords and usernames and let your survivors know how you would like your digital real estate (email and social media accounts) handled after your death.

If you don't work to really get in touch with the reality of your death, you will never be fully satisfied with your life. When endlessly trying to become victorious over death, you stop living fully.

Sources:

"What is Mindfulness?", Psychology Today, 2014.
Kashdan, Todd, Ph.D., "Confronting Death with an Open, Mindful Attitude", Psychology Today, 2011.
Klosowski, Thorin, "One Day You're Going to Die. Here's How to Prepare for It", 2013.


 

365 Days of Healing

Grieving doesn't always end with the funeral: subscribe to our free daily grief support email program, designed to help you a little bit every day, by filling out the form below.

52 Weeks of Support

It's hard to know what to say when someone experiences loss. Our free weekly newsletter provides insights, quotes and messages on how to help during the first year.